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The Newest BMX Craze: Green Laser Pointers?!

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From: Alex Bermudez

01 11, 2010

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Hop on this trend while its hot, so you can waive your right to have sex with women!!Is this honestly happening?? Are laser pointers really becoming the newest fad to blind the BMX world of all its legitimacy? I never knew a small beam of light produced by AAA battery could be so astonishing or entertaining to someone. I've been hearing about it here and there and seeing some non sense about it online and yes, the newest craze to hop on is here. Forget about your luc-e grinds and tuck no handers that make you look like you're reaching into your pockets to feel your own thigh... It's time for you to reach into your pocket and pull out your lame laser!

I read Kurt's words over on The Union, read the testimonials from others and even listened to some of Catfish's auto tune rap song... I even found a laser that can pop a balloon, burn holes through thin plastic and turn off street lights... Mind blowing, right?! IF Catfish gets a hold of this, it may be the end of mankind as we know it or maybe just the end of every 5 year olds birthday balloon party...

After all that, turns out these little light emitting electronic devices are still pretty gay, this must be a Midwest thing to do. In fact, IT HAS TO BE A MIDWEST THING! Nobody on the East Coast or West Coast seems to be going nuts about these, nor cares about em' but go ahead and look towards the middle of the country and you see everyone ranting and raving about these things. Could it be that the Midwest is covered in snow for multiple months during the year, thus resulting in really poor options and decisions to entertain yourself and others? Could it be that the Midwest is always last to hop on trends?

I remember laser pointers being all the rage in middle school, it was somewhere around 4th or 5th grade when they came out and all the kids went out and tried to get em'. I remember you had to lie to your parents as to why you needed one because you needed parental consent due to the fact that they can fuck up the eyes of the user and others, if used improperly. We would shine em' around the classroom and onto the teacher when she had her back turned and stuff, we felt so rebellious and badass. Except we didn't use the term badass and the lasers only came in red back then... And I remember that if you got written up with a white slip and got detention for it, you were even more of a badass, double points if they had to call your parents! All the girls would want to sit next to you during lunch for that one...

Anyways, what am I getting at? I just wanted to say this has to be the lamest craze to hit BMX, what's next? Yo Yos? Tamagotchis? Ball in a cup!?! No wonder why skaters get all the fame, babes and money, we're all fucking losers!

Moral of the story: Don't follow a trend set by a nerd, it will surely backfire.

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